You Know What

It's the most wonderful time of the year! The time when people haul their junk out of their houses and throw it on their lawns for us to pick through and purchase.

It's still cold, so things are still slow. We don't really expect much until mid-April, but Saturday definitely did not disappoint.

I picked up a cute vintage sweater vest with the tags still on. This is good because sweater vests are very popular with the kids right now and I try to buy Lola's love with the crap I find at yard sales. Sometimes it works. Other times, not so much.

The best thing about the sweater vest though, and the reason I was willing to pay a whole dollar, was the tag.

Notice the majesty emanating from the eternally young man's belt. Also notice that he doesn't seem to be wearing a sweater, even though he is promoting one (predecessor to Abercrombie and Fitch's wildly successful advertising campaign wherein they advertise clothing using models who aren't wearing any). I also would like to comment on Mr. Kennington's fabulous pair of mustachios. All must envy him. And on the back of the tag:

Tight as a "you-know-what." No, I don't know. We here at daltonhouse have been racking our brains trying to figure out what it fits as tight as. A drum? Hardly a pick-up line that is going to work on the seeker of eternal youth.

Tight as a tick? as Dick's hatband? as a duck's . . . ? I'm at a loss.

Also? I tried it on, and the sweater vest does not seem to offer me anything like a young, slim, or trim look. And it definitely doesn't fit tight as a you know what. Which is probably for the best, because no one wants to see all that stuff that makes me look as fat as a you know what. Lola, however, looks as cute as a you know what in it, which makes us both as happy as a you know what.