The Boob Tube Makes a Boob Out of Me

Yesterday I connected on Facebook with a dear friend from college. We had lost touch with each other, and I didn't even know he was living in Utah, so it was a delight to make contact again. He responded in kind, and my appreciation for Facebook has increased--a very tiny bit. (It decreases a lot every time someone throws a virtual snowball at me.)

As I looked at my friend's profile, hoping to see photos of his wife and child, I noticed that he links to a major television network. When I clicked on the link, I was surprised to find that he is, in fact, an anchor for that station's local news team. I had no idea.

When Lola saw his picture, she said, "You KNOW him???" (Points for me = good. The more famous people your parents know, the more you respect them.) And that's when I realized I am possibly out of touch. Except that if I were watching TV, I'd be watching PBS, and my college friend is not, you may have gathered, Jim Lehrer, because he's like 100 years old.

At first I thought that maybe I should tune in a little more--be more connected with things like my friends showing up reporting the news, but after a little consideration, I actually think TV should try a few things if it wants me to watch it. I mean, am I trying to please the entertainment industry, or is it catering to me? We should get this straight from the start--I'm not paying for Cable, so don't tell me to watch History Channel, or Discovery Channel, or Food Network, or A&E. I will never have access to those.

Here are some suggestions for you, networks:

• No commercials, including the ones on your Web sites. I know you have to have commercial sponsorship. Fine. Show them before and after your shows--not during.
• No more skanky shows. In fact, all shows should be taken from BBC's vast collection of adaptations of classic literature. You can show them over and over--we won't mind. You can show knitting shows and history shows too, if you like. Variety is the spice of life.
  
• Better news coverage, with less lame joking around and more actual reporting on things that are of interest to intelligent people.

In fact, better just take a page from PBS's book all the way around. On second thought, don't bother. I'll stick with PBS for my occasional viewing, and you do your thing, and if you happen to put any of my friends on, make sure they throw a snowball my way on Facebook.