One of the symptoms of low thyroid can be itching. What they don't tell you on those Web sites you're looking at when you're trying to figure out why you just clawed all the skin off 40 percent of your body is that the itching can be quite intense. Sometimes you just start scratching before you even realize what you're doing. So I've been scratching a lot, and that plus very dry weather equals full-body eczema. Yay.
So I went to the doctor to see if he could get me some relief. He gave me a steroid cream, which doesn't really work, but since it makes the rash go away temporarily, he claims it does work. Okay. I was looking for a more permanent solution, but apparently that would involve me taking an entire bottle of Tylenol. I'm not up to that. Swallowing pills makes my throat hurt.
After a couple months of limited success with the steroid cream (and not liking to use steroids anyway), I went back and asked for more suggestions. And what I got was a referral to a dermatologist (he can see me mid-April) and advice to slather myself up with oil like a pro wrestler. Twice a day.
The actual recommendation was to use Eucerin or something, but I don't like using petroleum products on my body, because, you know, I'm a hippie. So I used up my supply of all-natural body butter in about three days, at which time I realized that body butter was going to put us in the poorhouse if I didn't come up with something else.
That's when I hit upon the idea to make my own. Brilliant!! I know.
Turns out that stuff is tons easier to make than real butter. No churning involved. Slightly more costly, but $30 later I assured daltonboy that all those ingredients were going to enable me to make a boatload of body butter, saving us hundreds in the end. Maybe. Also, unlike that other stuff, it's edible. Why that matters, I know not. But it sounds more impressive than "non-toxic."
I threw my ingredients in the double boiler, watched them melt together, took the stuff off the stove, and let it congeal. Voila! My very own body butter. I couldn't wait until it was time to apply.
Let's just say you won't be getting homemade body butter as a gift from me any time soon. I think I need to iron out a few wrinkles in my recipe. The stuff you buy (sneer) is a lot like whipped butter. It feels smooth and light to the touch, and goes on like satin. My stuff--not so much.
Cons (only two, but they seem pretty significant):
- Color and consistency of yellow Play-Doh
- Tiny chunks of hardened oil in the mix that don't melt on skin
Pros:
- After warming in microwave, consistency becomes more pliable, and it's nice and warm!
- Not too greasy (way less greasy than Eucerin)
- Smells nice (can incorporate any choice of essential oils)
- Tiny chunks can be made to melt between the fingers given enough time and pressure
- Since it takes a little extra effort to get it into the skin, I get a full-body massage every time I apply! Win, wi-win, win, win!
After just a few days of using the homemade product, my rash was almost gone. I still have the itching, because that's a systemic issue--not due to dry skin--but I can control it. And my skin has a lovely glow. Also, if any would-be attackers happen upon me in a semi-nude state, I bet they wouldn't be able to get a good grip on me. You can't tell me that's not a huge benefit right there.
After over a week of using the stuff, I came up with another possible con. Mostly I feel like I've laminated myself every morning. When I try to put my clothes on, it's like putting on a form-fitting sweater over a t-shirt. Lots of tugging involved. But when I went one day using regular lotion instead of my miracle sludge, the itching came back in full force. So I guess it's doing its job. Those shea butter people really are telling the truth. I just have to relearn how to dress myself. Every time you see me from now on, I want you to appreciate the effort I had to go to just to get my clothes on that morning. Because to tell the truth, some days I don't even bother shedding the pjs at this point. It's just not worth the hassle if I don't need to leave the house.
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