Happy New Year!

It's time for a new word of the year and a very short reflection on last year's word.

Last year I chose Aware. I think it helped to have awareness on my mind. I don't know if I made visible changes, but I feel more generally aware of myself and others. I enjoyed having pictures up that reminded me to be aware as Jesus was, and I had a few cool experiences where I was able to help others by being aware of their needs.

This year's word is Calm.

I've struggled off and on with Generalized Anxiety Disorder for many years. This is the year I'm going to get control of it, once and for all. Last fall I had a pretty severe setback, and I've been working on developing some tools to help me cope. I'd like to continue that throughout this year and learn to be free from panic attacks. It's a very appealing prospect.

Here are some of the tools I'm using:

1. Medication. I plan to be weaned off the meds by spring, but they're really helping me as I learn new behaviors and work to get rid of old, destructive habits.

2. Hypnotherapy. I can't say enough about how awesome this is. I use an app on my iPad that helps me relax, which is huge. It helps me get to sleep and calm my mind when it's going a million miles an hour.

3. Books. My doctor suggested some reading material for me, and I'm really glad I took his advice. Here are two I've found to be very helpful:

For a Christian perspective on giving up our fears to God, this is a very joyful, comforting read. It covers just about anything a person could be fearful of, from natural disasters to personal failure.

For practical advice on how to change habits and develop new ways of thinking, this book has been invaluable. It requires time and a lot of personal effort, but I can tell it will be worth it.

4. Prayer. As always, prayer is the most important part of any struggle for me. I feel my prayers are already being answered as I find new ways to deal with this one.

5. Family. I probably would have been institutionalized long before now without the support of my sweet husband. I love that my family is willing to eat nachos or frozen burritos for dinner without complaint when I'm feeling overwhelmed, and that they don't care if the laundry is done or not. Of course there are drawbacks to that kind of laid backedness, but in this case I'm overlooking those because I'm so grateful for the lack of pressure to be supermom.

So I'm on my way to becoming anxiety free! I predict this will come in handy when I start student teaching and Lola goes off to college in the fall.