1. The Puritans Didn't Have Ibuprofen
Thanksgiving Day was fun and delicious, but passed in a haze of pain, including, but not limited to, day five of a six-day migraine. I compensated by not helping to set the table or clear it. Then I felt guilty. Then I cleared a little of the table anyway. Then I spent the remainder of the day laying around. Then I decided I was really thankful that I don't have to have migraines and other pain every day. Also that we didn't have Thanksgiving at our house this year.
2. Custard Should Be Refrigerated
On Saturday I ate a piece of pie that had possibly been sitting out a little too long. This may or may not have been the catalyst for subsequent intestinal difficulties.
3. Muscle Mania
The kids and I worked out four times, including Thanksgiving Day, because we are dedicated to health and well being. I am also dedicated to being unable to move without pain.
4. Shatterproof (Read: Plastic) Ornaments are Way Too Expensive
I had a meltdown a la Lola in WalMart two days after Thanksgiving and was forced to leave the store. This may actually have had more to do with the parenting "discussion" that daltonboy and I were having than the situation with the Christmas decorations. Plus the teeming masses can really get to you. And they have so much stuff out that you can't fit a cart single file down the aisles. A deadly combination.
5. Jumping the Gun
I found out KOSY has been playing Christmas music around the clock since Halloween. My sister-in-law had all her Christmas decorations up before Thanksgiving. They were cute, but it seemed a little early to me. It feels a little like everyone is saying, "Let's get this Thanksgiving business out of the way and get to the loot!"
6. A Scientific Experiment
Question: What is it about the forty-five minute shower that so appeals to teenagers?
Hypothesis: Warm water feels really good. Kids like that.
Data: I took two showers during which I tried to stay in as long as possible. The warm water felt good. Then I got so bored that I had to force myself to stay in for what felt like an hour, maybe two. No matter what I did, I could not top ten minutes.
Conclusion: Kids get a lot of satisfaction out of wasting their parents' money and our natural resources.
7. Sunday Church Attendance: Sparse
I attended the stake singles' branch, in order to hear daltonboy give his first talk as a high councilman. He did a fine job, despite the fact that he had to run home during Sunday School earlier in the day to reapply deodorant. The stake president decided to attend the branch meeting, as well as DB's parents. This caused him a little more stress than he normally would have felt, but it all worked out. It may have helped that there were only about ten other people in the meeting. DB was visibly relieved when it was over. And the blood returned to his fingers.
6 comments:
I must be a teenager at heart, because I could definitely stay in the shower for a full hour. Of course, the fact that the shower is one of the few places where I can get away from the kids may have something to do with it. That is, if I remembered to lock the door.
Were his fingers attached, and bloodless, or detached?
What I'm asking is: did the blood have to take a taxi to get back to his fingers? Did his blood boycott the fingers?
I don't get what blood and fingers have to do with stake presidents and high councilmen...
Yes It Is all a very confusing relationship between the blood and the fingers. Could you possibly clear that up?
He was so nervous that his hands were ice cold. But the rest of his body was sweating profusely. So then when it was all over, his hands warmed up again. I could only assume that the blood had left them in order to protect the major organs while he was experiencing the "fight or flight" response. Then it came back. There was no actual travel away from the body at any time. Sorry to have been ambiguous on that.
Just for the record, I understood the blood and fingers thing.
It sounds as if your week's been delightful! I can't stay in the shower that long, either. And I get after The Boy for leaving his heater on in his room and wasting energy.
Dearest DG, assuming that (1) your column is still more or less fit for children, and (2) you're not into some weird sort of reverse nesting, I believe what you were doing in #1 was "lying around." Never fear; we all still think you're almost perfect.
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