An alternate perspective--I hope!

In the past, I have been known to complain about stuff. There are a couple of reasons I do this:

1. I'm pretty good at making things sound funny when I'm complaining.

2. Complaining makes me feel better. For a second.

3. When I start to feel bad about complaining, I need something to make me feel better. See #2.

Only in a moment of clarity the other day, I realized that complaining is only funny for a minute, before it starts to make people think about what a sad and bitter person I am. Also, I'm smarter than that. I don't need complaining to be funny. Well, maybe I do, but if that's the case, maybe I shouldn't have such a need to be funny.

Mostly, complaining hasn't really brought me any lasting happiness. Sure, it makes people laugh, and takes the pressure off for a while, but it always comes back, because it was never properly dealt with. And what about how I'm affecting other people's attitudes? There was this one time when I felt dissatisfied with some of the aspects of my church. So I complained. It's not that I wanted to change religions--I just wanted some of the things about my religion to change so I'd be happier. Later on I found out that some of the things I had been complaining about were unsatisfactory to me because I was misinformed. Other things became non-issues as I gained some perspective and maturity. Great for me, only the past complaining had really affected some of my friends. And some of them made choices that could possibly have been influenced by me. And I feel really sad about that.

Now I find that I'm doing something similar with what I have to say about PTA. Cicada told me the other day that she is never joining PTA, because I have made it sound like I am surrounded by a bunch of crazy people, as well as being a huge chore, and it has become distasteful to her in every way. Daltonboy said the other night that he can't figure out why I do what I do--it's so stressful and not fun. My pat answer of "for the children?" doesn't hold much water with these people. And so, in the spirit of repentence for past wrongs that I can't put right, and for current wrongs that I hopefully can, I commit to cut back on the complaining. I also offer the following reasons why I love PTA--on the local level, as well as on the state level:

1. School is kind of a scary place to send your kids. Because of PTA, I get to be involved with my kids' schools, and I always know what is going on there. I get to help administrators make decisions about what is best for my kids and all the kids in the school.
2. I get to know my kids' teachers, who are then more than happy to work with me and my kids whenever there is a problem. I can offer them insights into my kids' idiosyncracies, and they are more willing to listen to me because they know I'm not a kook--I've spent time in their classrooms.
3. I get to help decide what PTA money is being used for in my school, and what kinds of activities and programs are most beneficial for my kids.
4. When something happens in the school, like a lockdown or teacher dismissal, I can easily get the straight scoop from administration because they know me and want me to have the facts.
5. I have many opportunities to serve, while still being available for my kids. I get to know the other kids my kids are spending 1/3 of their waking time with.
6. I have opportunities to learn about the broader issues that my kids are dealing with. I also have opportunities to educate other parents on those issues, and help them help their kids face them.
7. I have been able to get people enthused about their own service, and have motivated other moms who didn't know what they were capable of or where to start to begin doing great things.
8. I have made some wonderful, wonderful friends, who share my passion for service and love for children, as well as my values. These people teach me and support me. They love me for the contribution I make, and accept my foibles without complaint (to my face, which is all I can ask). They are smart, funny, and talented women, and I enjoy almost every minute of my time with them (except when I haven't had enough sleep).
9. Every single time I go shopping, to the library, or anywhere else in my town, I run into a PTA friend. I feel connected to my community because of my PTA relationships.
10. My education continues: I have been able to learn more about local government and how it works, as well as school administration and how it works. I have made new goals for continuing my formal education.
11. I have received valuable training on how to talk to people (lobby), how to raise money, how to understand myself better, and how to work together toward a common goal with people who may not be exactly like me.
12. I get to meet famous people sometimes.
13. I get free meals sometimes.
14. I get to be on TV sometimes.

Let's not sugar coat it: yes, there are politics and power plays. Yes, there are quite a few crazy people/people with issues that make them act crazy. Yes, there are frustrations when things don't go right (my way). Yes, there have been positions I've taken that I enjoyed a lot less than others. And yes, there are times when I am tired and burned out, and I want to just stay home and work on my scrapbook and bake bread instead of going to another meeting where I will listen to a lot of stuff I already heard before.

But where in life are you not going to experience all of those things? The best career has all of those down sides at one time or another. And PTA has given me so much: I've seen children's faces light up with joy when they answer a question correctly or win an award for creativity; I've been there when a legislator thanks PTA for their efforts in bringing an important issue to light; and I've felt arms of comfort, support, triumph, and gratitude around me. All of this means that PTA is a welcome part of my life--I fit here. I hope that every parent of school-age children will take the opportunity to find out where they fit in their PTA, and enjoy serving--even when the kooks are crawling out of the woodwork. Whether it's an hour a year or thirty hours a week--our children need us, and this is the avenue I freely choose to serve them.

Next time: why I love my kids, and am so happy they're mine.