Mamas, don't let yer babies grow up to be clueless.

We attended our Seminary (four years of religious instruction taken during high school by the youth of our church) graduation ceremony tonight. It was held at the church, in the chapel, where people usually wear best dress, but you'd think they'd do that anyway since it was a graduation in their honor and all. Most of them did. For those that didn't, I have a couple of tips for their moms:

I know they're eighteen and think they can do whatever they want, but could you at least drop a few hints? Or maybe hide their rags and give them back later?

1. Let's say your daughter is an environmental activist. Maybe you could point out to her that church, and a graduation ceremony, are not appropriate places to wear your skin tight "Stop Global Warming" t-shirt. Even if you do wear it with a black skirt and hot-pink stiletto-heeled pumps.

2. Your son has bunions? Call your podiatrist ahead of time and ask for suggestions on shoes that might be as comfortable and more appropriate than giant bedroom slippers.

3. The dress is cute, but if it makes your daughter appear to be seven months pregnant, maybe she shouldn't wear it tonight. Especially when they are standing all the kids in front of the congregation and stating that they have each passed a worthiness interview with their bishop.

Everyone else did pretty well. This year there were no sweatshirts, no denim skirts, and everything was relatively modest. No one wore black lipstick. No one had green hair. But still. Most of the girls were wearing t-shirts. They just didn't have messages on them. And some of them still haven't received the memo from like five years ago and were wearing flip-flops. One has to wonder: if they can't dress up for this kind of event, is there anything in the world they can dress up for?