The other day we received our church magazines in the mail. Inside the youth magazine was a pull-out page of cards depicting values and choices that reflect some of the issues of today: gossip, swearing, lying, etc. Lola separated the cards, glanced briefly at them, and then moved on to something else.
A little while later, I picked the cards up. Half-jokingly I asked, "So what's wrong with swearing?"
Lola: If you do, God will tear your guts out.
Suddenly I felt more serious about this.
Me: Uh. What?
Lola: Yeah. He will. He'll rip your guts out, or something like that. So don't swear.
Me: Where do you get that? I mean sure, swearing is wrong, but I'm not sure where you're getting that idea.
Lola: It says so in the scriptures.
Daltonboy: Uh . . . I don't think so.
Lola: Yeah. It does.
Me: Do you know where?
Lola: I don't know. I read it on the back of that card.
I turned the card over to read about the consequences of swearing.
Me: I don't see that.
Lola: Yeah, see? It says God will hold you gutless at the last day.
Me: Guiltless. He will not hold you guiltless.
Lola: Oh.
DB: BWAHahahahaha!!!!!!!
Fortunately, we all had a good laugh--even Lola. I think she was relieved, actually. She knew I was about to be in big trouble and was concerned for me. And then, to take the heat off her, we revisited all the times daltonman had made similar reading errors. There have been some funny ones. I have to say though, I don't think he ever interpreted scripture to mean that God was going to draw and quarter him at the Judgement Bar.
2 comments:
That is so awesome. I might rethink being a swear box if I knew I'd be drawn and quartered...
Tell Lola not to worry about it. The 'i' and the 'l' blend together for me too and then sometimes. completely disappear! Funny story!
Post a Comment