The city council approved my appointment to the library board this week. It should be a good gig. Cool people and books. The only thing that would make it better is if we all sat around knitting during our meetings. Perhaps that will be the first change I'll suggest.
I've already experienced one perk of the job, which was a one-time thing, but oh! so gratifying. I was on the phone with my sister (she called me) when the time came for me to head down to my meeting with the mayor, where he would chat with me about the opportunity and issue an invitation to join the board. So I said, "Gotta go. The mayor wants to rap with me about some things."* I have waited for the day I could use that line for a very, very long time. I imagine a lot of people have. Sadly, it won't ever come for many of you.
The second perk I expect to call in shortly. It will happen when I make my regular trip to the library to check out books, and upon scanning my card, the person at the desk raises her eyebrows and says, "It looks like you have some overdue fines. To the tune of about $97. Would you like to pay those now?"
I will manage a thin smile and say, "No. I don't plan to pay those. Not now, not ever, actually."
And she will say, "But . . . "
And I will say, in my best Curt Bramble voice, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Tell you what, that's going to be fun. And I suspect that will only be the beginning of perks/hilarity galore. I think most people just don't realize just how exciting library involvement can be. That's good--the last thing I needed was more (read: any) competition.
*Bill Murray, Ghostbusters, 1988
3 comments:
I'm still waiting for my chance to use that remark. Darn-you beat me AGAIN! I will never catch up with you because you are TOO awesome. And I've heard that Bramble voice of yours-it's enough to stop anyone in their tracks, let alone a poor little lady at the checkout desk. Please don't give her a heart attack because the mayor will kick you off the board.
I'm the spouse of a Liberry Bored member, so I'd like to mention the perks for spouses (spice?), in case daltonboy is interested. First, occasionally the Bored gets together to ply itself and its spouses (spice?) with excellent food and scintillating conversation. Second, they rotate responsibility for examining and reporting on books and movies in response to patron complaints. Sometimes the Bored members feel they're too busy or too pure for such things and delegate it to their (spice), who may or may not be the friendly neighborhood (Mormon) bishop. This is a rare opportunity to sin and serve a righteous cause at the same time, if you're into that sort of thing, which I'm not. And for me it's a nice opportunity to say "Smutty books!" a lot and to ponder philosophical conundra such as, Is the adult male skinny-dipping scene in "A Room with a View" pornographic? (No.) Is it more offensive because one of the dippers is the local vicar? (Not to me.) Why aren't people who bridle at the slightest hint of human sexuality in art even more offended by crass, raging, potentially infectious stupidity in their entertainment? (Don't get me started.) Anyway, tell daltonboy to look forward to plenty good (spice) fun.
.
Rule. Rule hard.
Post a Comment