I'm Really Sad because I filed the taxes yesterday. I always file early, because I can't wait to get the thousands of $$ back that we've lent the Federal Government over the preceding year. This year, however, they decided to just keep it all. That makes me sad. No new kitchen floor, no new roof, no paying off my car, no extra chocolate for me . . .
It's Reasonably Silly to expect that all of my jokes will make people laugh. But the other day I made what I thought was a mildly funny comment, and no one even cracked a smile. We were registering people for our annual PTA Day at the Legislature, and all of us were wearing about fifty stickers and badges all over the fronts of our clothing. It looked totally ridiculous, and I remarked that we looked like TGI Friday's employees. Nothing. Not even a courtesy laugh. Later, however, I overheard one of the women I said that to, telling one of the senators that we were dressed up as TGIF servers, and they both stood there and got a great laugh out of it. I could have gone a couple of directions at that point, but I decided to be flattered that she stole my joke. I just wish she would have laughed a little when I said it earlier.
I Really [love the] Senate. Yesterday the Reading Clerk was reading in the title of the next bill to be discussed: "Resolution Encouraging Utah Schools to Educate Children." There was a short, stunned silence. And that's what I do up there, folks. Because if the schools aren't educating children, what are they doing? And why are we giving them all this money? The actual title of the bill was a bit longer. The Reading Clerk just missed the last part. She should have continued, "on the Risks of Sun Exposure." But the fact that she didn't was priceless.
5 comments:
It Resembles Stealing . . .
I wonder if the joke stealers have an actual strategy, and deliberately discourage your telling your own joke by not laughing. That way, it's more likely to be fresh when they plagiarize it for their own listeners. Wasn't there a M*A*S*H episode about this, something to do with "bird imitations"?
Now you've got me wondering whether there SHOULD be a bill entitled
"Resolution Encouraging Utah Schools to Educate Children." The teachers are apparently so bogged down teaching stuff like "good touch bad touch," gay tolerance, sex-ed, fire drills, earthquake drills*, and now sun exposure**, that there is precious little time left for math and reading.
*Apparently kids are still being taught to hide under their desks during an earthquake. Yet the latest earthquake research indicates that that's the worst place to be, because it pretty much guarantees that they will be crushed by the desk if the roof caves in. crouching NEXT TO a desk would give them the best chance for survival.
**Aren't kids already being taught about sun exposure? You know, those lame commercials on TV with the guy in the sun costume. (I actually kind of like those commercials.)
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Oo! Oo! Oo!
Actually, Beware That New Research.
The Triangle of Life stuff is good if you live in, say, Pakistan, but in America, since our building standards are higher, under as desk is the safest place to be.
See, in Pakistan, you expect the roof to cave in. This will collapse the desk, killing anyone under it, but leaving a small triangular space next to the desk where one could be safe.
In America though, the roof ain't apt to fall. So your bigger risk is from bookshelves, ceiling fans, etc. They will just bounce off the desk, so the person under the desk will be safe. But the person next to the desk will be squished.
So the safest place to be, in relation to a desk, during an earthquake depends very much on what the most serious threat to your safety is. And in the States it's not the roof.
I applaud your humility on all sides of this IRS post. Way to not tackle the Stealer and the Senator all at once.
I think the resolution I would support is "Resolution Encouraging the Senate to realize that Utah Schools are Educating Children - All Children - so get off their backs!"
BTW - Sorry for not laughing at your TGIFridays joke last week. I told the UEA people yesterday they were having more fun than we are, and now I realize it's all my fault!
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