A few years ago, daltonman was invited to a Halloween party. A party hosted by a girl. A very cute girl, with an deep understanding of and commitment to Cool. Daltonman threw his costume together about ten minutes before leaving. It consisted of the following:
black pants
black turtleneck
ski goggles
black jacket
black scarf (worn around head and face, ninja style)
black hat
camo face makeup (this may not have actually been part of the costume. If it wasn't, it should have been.)
"Uh, whatthecrap are you supposed to be?" daltonboy and I asked.
"I'm a Special Ops Guy," he answered, visibly disappointed in us.
"Riiiiiight," we said. Then we shook our heads and despaired of non-nerd girls ever inviting him to Halloween parties again. (We were right.) Later we heard that he took the accessories off upon arriving at the party, because they turned out to look, oddly enough, ridiculous.
Since that time, we have taken every opportunity to tease daltonman about Special Ops Guy. He takes it pretty well, but secretly I think he still wants to be one. Here's part of the reason why:
Lately dm has embraced a new hobby--collecting knives and swords. I will not use this forum to share my actual feelings on this hobby. Oh. I guess I just did. Oops! Anyway, I'm thinking of sending dm to Alaska, where he can commune with Nemesis' dad and slash up the tundra, instead of our trees. About twice a week he comes in and shows us a new acquisition. It's getting hard to come up with supportive yet noncommittal things to say. Actually, it was always hard. Now it's just harder.
Yesterday dm was sustained as a ward missionary. So we trooped in to support him when he was set apart. (When dm wasn't looking, I mimed to the bishopric to "suggest" to dm that he get a haircut. They did. It was awesome.) Then one of the counselors, offering additional advice on the new calling, said, "You're kind of like a Special Ops Guy now. A Special Ops Guy for the Lord." Daltonman ate it up like a jumbo/LARGE Coney's Flavor of the Day. Was he inspired? I don't know. Why don't you tell me? Daltonboy, Lola, and I almost fell on the floor laughing. Fortunately, we were all mature enough to control ourselves (until we got in the car). The other counselor started in all, "Ooo. Special Ops Guy. I like that." At that point I may or may not have rolled my eyes. And by that I mean a full roll--not a "whatever" kind of half roll. Full. Roll.
What will dm wear to his first appointment? Your guess is as good as mine, but I'm betting on a camo tie, at the very least.
6 comments:
That's too good. Also, my brothers collect knives, too. They would collect swords, but I'm pretty sure Mom put a stop to that one.
My father has never actually used his knives. They sit in decorative cases above the television, for they are heirlooms. Of course, the only sibling who wants them is my Army brother, who is like unto DM in many ways. I think my Dad's kind of torn about that one.
I've totally been forgetting about Strongbad-thanks for reminding me how much it makes me laugh!
Oh my gosh, this is seriously too funny. But at least it helps you believe in that whole revelation thing. I mean, how else would they know to appoint him as a special ops guy?
"A Special Ops guy for the Lord."
I AM LOVING IT!
.
Oooo.
Camo tie!
I don't have one of those!
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