Q: How many political parties does Utah have?

The other day I was in a meeting with a couple of Utah representatives and someone posed a question to them and asked how that all works when we have a one-party system in this state.

One of the representatives responded, "Actually, we have a three-party system. Democrats, moderate Republicans, and right-wing Republicans."

So we have three parties?

Yesterday I was talking with Natgo, who said, "My husband has a friend who's kind of a hippie, but he's really nice." I interrupted to ask, "Is that how you talk about me? 'I have a friend who's kind of a hippie, but really nice'?"

N: No.

Me: You don't think I'm nice?

N: You're not "kind of" a hippie. Have you ever owned chickens that lived in your yard? Have you ever made "cheese" out of cashews? Did you give birth naturally? Do you grow an organic garden? Have you ever purchased anything made of hemp? Do you regularly cook with garbanzo beans and/or quinoa? Do you now or have you ever composted your kitchen waste? You're not kind of a hippie. You ARE a hippie.

Hey, wait a minute! I can answer yes to all those questions. Wow!

Me: Oh. Right.

That's funny. I don't feel like a hippie.

N: Here's what Republicans do. They drag their recycling can out to the curb once a week, call it good, and tell themselves they're saving the planet. They don't do all those other things, because that's what hippies do.

So we're back to a two-party system. The Republican party and the Hippie party. No wonder we can't get any traction in the Legislature! Bunch of long-haired, Prius-driving, composting weirdos.

I think this raises more questions than it answers. For example, what is the mascot of the Hippie party?