The Sandwich

I just had lunch. I made myself the best sandwich in the entire world, and it was SO good I decided I had to blog about it. How many sandwiches are THAT good? Not many. Here's the story.

I grew up in a religion that was kind of weird (not like the peculiar one I belong to now). First of all, from a kid's perspective, they didn't allow anyone to have fun or do anything stylish. To name a few rules: We weren't allowed to celebrate birthdays or Christian holidays. Kids weren't supposed to pretend or indulge in fantasies. No invisible friend or Disney movies for me. Women had to have long hair. No pierced ears (this was before other body parts were popular piercing sites). I heard that men weren't allowed to kiss their wives below the neck (not sure how that one was enforced).

Anyway, it was mostly a big drag. At Easter, Valentine's Day and Christmas, I had to stay home from school when the other kids were having parties. I wasn't allowed to attend my friends' birthday parties, or to have my own. No Trick-or-Treating, no presents, no fun. My parents tried to make things bearable for us by taking us to the movies on Halloween. My mom secretly made us our favorite meal on our birthdays, but we weren't really allowed to wish each other many happy returns or anything like that.

There was one time a year, though, when we went all out. A veritable bacchanalia. I'm talking about BIG fun. The church would hold a conference, and we'd get to go somewhere like Tahoe or Disneyland for a whole week. Sure, we had to go to church for half of each day (church services weren't actually held at Disneyland), but after that (we usually chose Tahoe) there was horseback riding, boating, river rafting, fishing, tram riding, mini golfing, hiking, shopping, and every day we got a present. It almost made up for not getting Christmas. We stayed in cool resort cabins that we shared with friends. At night my parents would go over to Reno and do some dinner and gambling, or stay home and get likkered up with their buddies. If we were lucky and played our cards right, they'd give us some spirits as well--watered down, of course. There was also a lot of good eating! And for that, sometimes we went downtown Tahoe City and ate at the Fanny Bridge Inn.

This quaint hippie restaurant was right next to a bridge that spanned the Truckee River. And people would walk out on the bridge and stand and look over the side into the river. And everyone else was treated to the sight of all these rear ends sticking out from the railing. Hence, the Fanny Bridge.

We loved the Fanny Bridge Inn. They had good, healthy food, and it was affordable. Except for the one time when my dad accidentally left the waitress a $20 tip (and that was in the seventies!). I remember standing outside for about twenty minutes while he debated going back in and asking for change back. He didn't want to seem cheap, but twenty bucks was a lot of money. I think he finally just let it go.

My mom's favorite thing to order was The Sandwich. Three inches of stacked-high goodness, involving cheese (monterey jack and/or cheddar), alfalfa sprouts, green chilis, tomato, and avocado on wheat. Grilled. MmmMMMM! One time she said, "Hey! I could make this sandwich!" and tore the thing apart to make sure she got all the right ingredients. Wrote them all down on a napkin. Once we got home, she started experimenting. It wasn't too hard. She made The Sandwich whenever she got a chance after that. Being an avocado hater, I didn't appreciate The Sandwich for the culinary masterpiece that it was. As an adult, the avocado started to grow on me, and one day I decided to try The Sandwich myself. I have never looked back.

Recently, in my efforts to clean up my diet, I started paying top dollar at the grocery store to buy myself a couple of avocadoes a week. Today I realized that I just happened to have all the other The Sandwich ingredients in the kitchen and fried one up for myself. Ooooohhhhhh, man! That sure brings back the good ol' days.

By the way, my birthday is in three weeks, and I will be celebrating. I've long since given up substance abuse, but feel free to stop by with your favorite The Sandwich ingredient. I'd be happy to fry one up for you.