Training

Yesterday I took the bus/TRAXX (why two exes, I have no idea) up to Salt Lake City's historic Temple Square to attend an open house for Primary leaders. It was delightful, as always, and I was glad I went. What I really want to talk about is the trip. I thought it would be a good idea to try out public transportation in order to determine whether or not it will be feasible (and cheaper) for me to use when I have to start going up to the big city more often with my new PTA duties. I just have a couple of things to say to some of my fellow passengers. If you're reading, you'll know who you are.

To the person who got on in Lehi who was dressed in the weirdest outfit I've seen in a long time:
Dude. Most men don't wear black nylons/kneehighs. Or black leggings (leggings in general, actually). Or red nail polish. Or white grandma boat shoes. Or tons of silver jewelry. Or hot pink bandanas tied like scarves and pulled down to their eyebrows. If you want to be a cross dresser, you should probably wear some nice slacks, or flare-leg jeans, with one of those long pink undershirts that have lace around the bottom, and maybe a dark brown crocheted shrug. For shoes I'm going to have to insist on boots--half, calf, or ankle. Also, you should consider brushing your hair. If you pull the bandana down that far on your forehead, I think it exposes your long, greasy, matted hair a little too much to ignore the need for a wash and comb. Minor tip: if it were me, I'd probably use pink nail polish, or change the bandana and undershirt to red.

To the woman who held an unlit cigarette in her mouth for the entire forty-five minute ride:
I'm sorry you were so nervous that you thought just having the thing in your mouth would help. It didn't seem like it was helping, but I'm sure it was. Next time, leave home a little earlier and smoke the thing on the way to the train. That way maybe it won't be mangled and have dropped half its tobacco all over the train when you finally get to light up after diving off at your stop.

To the person who smelled strongly of urine:
I feel very strongly that a bath and/or a trip to the laundromat is in order. Remember the nice woman on the train that kept coming on over the loudspeaker and saying things like, "Please be considerate of other passengers"? I think she might have been talking to you.

To the bus driver:
You did a very nice job; however, I felt that stopping the bus, getting out, ripping the sign off the side of the bus and throwing it on the grass strip before driving away was a little odd. Also, it was littering. I think there are fines for that--people who throw eight-foot long strips of cardboard out their car windows are generally frowned upon by the town beautification committee.

To all the people who walk the entire length of the almost empty bus/train car in order to share a seat with a small child/young woman:
Some people feel weird about/creeped out by that. I'm just saying.

To all the people who weren't talking on cell phones:
Did you feel like you were in a call center? All that ringing, and talking . . . but I must say I'd rather have the crazy people talking on their phones than to me, so I'm not going to complain about that.

I'm looking forward to commuting with you all in a couple of months. I love the idea of reading a book for an hour and a half as opposed to white knuckling my way through snowstorms and angry drivers. I also love that it only costs $3 to ride, as opposed to $8 to drive. Hopefully by the time I see you again, you'll have taken the opportunity to implement my suggestions and we can all have a very nice time together.

Sincerely,
Daltongirl