So I went to my daily hula practice, and this Hawaiian woman was there, and she took me aside and said, "This is a really romantic dance, you know." Apparently the message of the dance is something like, "Roll over this way, baby, and have your way with my beautiful body." No wonder I was feeling so alluring! I thought it was about washing clothes in the river or something.
Apparently the Samoan guy doesn't know what any of this stuff means. It's just a beautiful hula. Ahem. I guess it could have been worse. At least it implies that the dancer is married.
Ground rules for me going ahead with this dance:
1. Bret has to be sitting in the front row so I can look at him and not some other guy, like the bishop. That would be embarrassing, even for me.
2. No one can tell this to the other two in my group, because they would quit immediately. (They weren't at the practice today.) Then I would have to proposition the ward all by myself.
3. No coconuts.
4. No bikini top. (Not that those were seriously suggested, but I think it's important to note that I am opposed.)
5. Taylor will not be joining me (that was suggested, because she catches on to the dances so easily). I have to put my foot down there.
On the up side, the Hawaiian woman said, "I don't know where you learned to hula, but you're really good." I told her the Samoan guy taught me yesterday, and she was generous enough to pretend she couldn't believe it. They're all so kind. I think they're just relieved someone is willing to do the sexy dance.
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