So we're at a yard sale Saturday and this adorable little girl comes up to me and says, "If you have kids, you've come to the right place, because we have toys." I glance at the toys and say, "Oh, I don't have any little kids."
"Well, for your grandkids, then," she says sweetly. After I got finished with her, I bet it took her at least an hour before she was able to insult any other customers. Plus we didn't buy anything at her stupid yard sale.
Today was better. I wore the fabulous new makeup that my loving and generous sister purchased for me, and the minute I walked in to Church a woman said, "Oh, your makeup looks so beautiful today!" I was extra nice to her kids in Primary.
Spent the remainder of church feeling fresh, lovely and young.
Later I asked my husband whether or not he liked my new look. He seemed confused. "Uhhhhh, yeah!" he said brightly. "I didn't know . . . uh, I mean . . . uh, it doesn't really look like you have anything on. I mean . . . it looks nice. Natural. Better than that other stuff you were wearing . . . uh, guys really aren't the best people to ask things like that."
So apparently I used to look like an aging prostitute. Maybe that's why my sister ordered the new stuff for me instead of allowing me to save up for it.
Some people are going to have a treat delivered to their house tonight. Some people are going to eat whatever they can scrounge out of the bottom of the vegetable bin.
3 comments:
I would have noticed. I promise. And I'm sure you looked gorgeous. It's funny how some women go to great lengths to look fabulous in order to catch a man, but in reality the men probably can't even tell the difference. (That's my disclaimer anyway. I can tell myself I'm gorgeous; the men are just clueless.)
Yeah, don't even get me started on guys with their whole "we like the natural look" thing. It'll just get ugly.
But yay for you finding makeup that you like! You aren't even allergic to it or anything?
And that little girl needs to get what's coming to her.
Just so that you know that men get it too...
I had this really great teacher last semester who was out at a public skating rink with his wife and daughter one evening. A 12-ish boy accidentally ran into my professor. His friend yelled out, "Ew! You just totally ran into that old man!"
The funny thing is that "old man" wasn't necessarily how I would describe my professor. I would actually have used the words "Rather Dashing" or "Really Handsome" or some such thing... but of course, I wouldn't do that either, because I don't want to actually admit that I had a crush on my married professor.
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