Sweet Sixteen

Today is daltonkid's sixteenth birthday. Wow. Where did the time go? It seems like I've only been his mom for about five years.

Wait. I have only been his mom for five years.

Anyway, I wish him the happiest of days, even though it won't involve getting a driver's license (not enough hours behind the wheel), presents (we're celebrating tomorrow), or a date.

It will, however, involve a lot of singing, some of which will go like this:

Happy, happy birthday, daltonkid, dear,
Happy days will come to you all year.
If I had one wish, then it would be,
A happy, happy birthday to you from me!

Also the feliz cumpleanos one is a must. That's how they say it in Spain, you know. And what is up with them changing the German words like twenty years into it? Did the Germans change the way they say happy birthday? Or did someone at Church Correlation just figure out that we've been saying it wrong all this time? I can just imagine the conversation up at Church Headquarters:

Recently Returned Missionary, who went on a mission to Pennsylvania (German speaking)and is so thrilled to have a job with the Church he can't stand it. Also, he must try to impress new supervisors, as this will increase his chances of meeting a General Authority: Um, Brother Supervisor, I was just looking over the Primary songbook, and I noticed that one of the songs is incorrect.

Brother Supervisor: What? Which one? Show me.

RRM: Right here. Where it says "gliclicker geburtstag," meaning Happy Birthday? I never heard anyone use that term on my mission. I was AP, you know. And my American mission president that hadn't spoken German in thirty years until he was recalled to serve in my mission said my German was really, really good.

BS: So what's wrong with it, brother?

RRM: Well, this one time, I went to a birthday party . . . it was at an investigator's house, and we had an appointment to teach a lesson right after the cake. That's why we went. Also, we felt it was part of Building Relationships of Trust. And I didn't watch any TV or play any video games with the kids at the party. Anyway, they sang the happy birthday song, and they said "froelicker geburstag." I felt the Spirit pretty strong at the time, so I'm pretty sure this current translation is incorrect. [In a confidential tone] Also, from what my research tells me, this song was translated by a sister, and we all know their language skills aren't so good. They only get eighteen months to work on it, you know.

BS: Interesting, RRM. You say you didn't play video games?

RRM: No, sir. That would have been against the rules.

BS: Please excuse me for a minute. I must pray about this issue. I'll get back to you.

Later that day:

BS: Brother Supervisor-Supervisor? We have a problem. There's an incorrect translation in the Primary songbook. I have knelt in prayer over this, and feel prompted to tell you that there's no way the children of the world can feel the Spirit of the Lord if they're singing incorrect words.

BSS (gasps): BS, if what you say is true, we will have to revise the Primary Songbook. Fortunately, unbeknownst to you, the book is already in revision, and set to come out within the next six months, complete with cartoon pictures on every page, done all in pastels. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Excuse me for a minute. I must pray about this issue.

This goes on all the way up to a General Authority who says, "Whatever. If you think it sounds better that way, go ahead and change it. Just don't waste my time by bringing some returned missionary in here to fawn at my feet and ask for my autograph."

This is why, in 1989, a new Primary songbook was released.

So happy birthday, daltonkid! May you go on a German-speaking mission in three short years, so we can get the real lyrics back.