Here's a list of movies I rented/watched/listened to over the last week, since the RHS got sick and I followed suit. I trust the point at which she got better and I took over the DVD player will be crystal clear.
Freaky Friday (Jodi Foster version)
Because of Winn Dixie
Big
The Even Stevens Movie
The Prince and Me
13 Going On 30 (edited)
Beyond the Sea
Return to Me
The Notebook (edited)
Adaptation (edited)
Unbreakable
Some things I gleaned from this experience:
1. Some movies are a big waste of time, even if it means the alternative is laying in bed, pushing your cuticles back, and staring at the wall.
2. Kevin Spacey is awesome in every way.
3. I now know what to make daltonboy watch if I want to see him cry.
4. Nicholas Cage is hilarious when he plays neurotic people.
5. Tween movies that advertise themselves as such are not always telling the truth.
6. Tom Hanks does a much better job of acting like a kid in a grownup body than Jennifer Garner does. Also, the movie was just better.
7. Bruce Willis is more fun to watch in some movies than others.
8. James Garner is still cool, even when he's old and not playing Old West guys.
9. Some dogs might be okay.
Yesterday the RHS spent the afternoon preparing a "Presentation," and presented her material to me and daltonboy when he got home from church. This included a five-page, typed report, complete with cover sheet and pictures, and visual aids. It also involved her standing at attention in front of the fireplace and using her sweetest and best oratory voice to convince us to get her a dog.
Dogs
by RHS
Top ten reasons why every kid needs a dog:
(My personal favorite=#3 They wake up about 6:00 so I can give them a walk before school.)
Top five reasons why I shouldn't get a dog:
(Oh, she's good. She even included the opposition's argument, and then refuted every point.)
Next came a page for us to fill in, with blank spaces for rules that she will have to follow in order to get/keep a dog.
Next came the list of all the things she's willing to commit to up front. My favorite: Keep my room clean (or pretty close to it) for x number of months.
Then she got out her Beanie Dog and put a little collar on it, describing all the things you do when you bring your dog home from the shelter. Then she put a leash on it, and talked about how she will clean up poop.
Conclusion: I know you don't want me to have a dog, but I want this more than anything, and I know you might say no, but all I'm asking is that you'll think it over and discuss it before giving me your answer. Thanks for listening.
Wow. Daltonboy was unfazed. Cold, cold-hearted man. So now I'm in the unenviable position of trying to convince a person who hates animals to allow a child who can't even rinse out a cereal bowl properly to get an animal that I would just as soon eat in a Korean dish as have running around my house and putting its nose in my crotch. This may prove difficult.
5 comments:
It's a lot harder to just boldly say "no" to kids when they come up with such a great, multi-teered argument.
I'm a dog-hater as well, but my wife has made me promise to think about it when the kids start begging. I don't know how I gave in. Yes I do, I'm whipped.
I myself am a dog lover, and wish I could have one. Also there are about 500 very sweet dogs in the state of Utah that need homes. And you guys have that nice big yard, so it wouldn't have to be an inside dog if it were furry enough.
However, it would be a sad thing if Taylor gets a dog and then loses interest, so that the people who don't like dogs end up taking care of it or possibly taking it back to an animal shelter or something.
I'm just sayin'.
Hahahaha. This reminds me of a time when I used a similar tactic to convince my parents to let me go to a dance, then stay over at a friend's house. (A big thanks to whoever taught me to write persuasively.) Only then I apparently forgot to keep part of my end of the deal because my mom got really mad later.
Ummmm, anyway, dogs are a great way to teach kids responsibility, right?
So not only does RHS like my bedroom, but she also wants a dog, too! Does she mind letting me borrow her report and visual aids so that I could have a little help with the landlord? Does she have a visual aid for, "If I don't have a dog I will get raped?" because that's the one that I'm trying to play up here as I beg my landlord for a dog. Also, if you go on petfinder.com, you can find all the dogs in the area. Please don't take Mack or Sam. I've got my eye on them for when the landlord gives his approval (because who wants the rape of a virgin on their conscience?).
Nem, I don't think RHS will lose interest in a dog. She's insane about them. Also, she's just one of those people that's meant to have an animal. Gets that from her dad, obviously.
Cicada, I can send you a copy of The Presentation. Complete with spelling and punctuation errors. To my memory there isn't anything about rape in there. I could ask her to add a little something.
Ambrosia, dogs are a great way to teach responsibility. They are also a great way to get me to clean the floors in this house because someone pooped while everyone was at school. I will leave dried up, crusty cereal in a bowl for the responsible party to take care of. I will probably not leave poop or barf around for any length of time.
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