1. House help. Main duties would be cleaning up after me and anyone else who barfs all over the place. Also cooking for people that aren't sick. Possibly changing the DVD in the machine every two hours as well.
2. More David Duchovny videos. Sorry, no X-Files. Hate that.
3. Earplugs for drowning out sounds of wailing girls. Apparently it's just really, really hard having a mom who's sick, and by the way, "would this be a bad time to say 'it's not fair'?" Yeah. Yeah, this would be a really bad time, considering you're just taking out the trash and I'm leaning over the toilet bowl. Piece. Of. Work.
4. Intravenous Tylenol, as am unable to keep pills down. Morphine might not be a bad idea, either.
5 comments:
You poor thing. I guess the throwing up incident from the other day wasn't a fluke. Maybe it's from an enterovirus. (I have to throw big words around so people think I'm smart.)
You'd think that when you're that obviously sick, the children would realize that you're not going to be a functioning cook, waitress, maid, etc. for a while. But from what I've observed, children all have a brain disorder that prevents them from grasping that concept. Give 'em a decade and the condition will likely improve.
In the meantime, crank up that DVD and try to tune out the kids and relax and enjoy your sick time (a time when you get to lie around and feel no guilt).
So... you're saying you're sick?
Is that how it came across? Wow. Sometimes I wonder about my ability to effectively communicate in writing.
I'm so sorry, dearest. My offer still stands to come and change DVDs for you.
And if you throw up I will go wait in the backyard until you've finished and have cleaned it all up, because I know sometimes it's embarassing to do that in front of other people.
Home teachers? What are you talking about? We haven't had a home teacher here in . . . well, years. I'm just going to go in my room and watch movies.
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