First, the bad news: a woman sent her kids around the ward collecting money for Katrina Victims. (I did not donate, because a) I had no cash, and b) I was writing a check for Humanitarian Aid.) Then the bishop got up in sacrament meeting and said that the kids went around the ward and collected money. Then the woman got up and "bore her testimony" about how her kids went to every house in the ward and collected $200 and she's so proud of them and it's so great to be able to help. What I think she thought was great was the opportunity to stand up and tell everyone how great she is for ignoring the prophet, who said to donate to Humanitarian Aid (the kids did not donate through the offerings, says daltonboy), and for ignoring the bishop, who said to quit standing up and telling stories and just bear testimony. Also, if they went to every house in the ward, was there really a need to tell the ward that they did? Twice?
2. The darling baby that usually sleeps in my arms throughout sacrament meeting was not feeling well. So I spent the meeting in the hall, jiggling gas out of him and feeling very sad that he was so unhappy.
3. Half the ward was in the foyer playing loudly with their kids (read: letting their kids run wild while they chatted). I had to go to the other side of the building to be able to listen.
Next, the highlights: the bishopric is tired of people just getting up and telling lame stories or saying stupid things that don't have anything to do with testimonies during this meeting. It's not a free-for-all. So the bishopric person that was conducting got up and read from "True to the Faith" about testimonies, and what they are, and then every one of them got up and bore their testimonies in the right way, talking about the Savior and other related things, briefly, and then sat down. It was wonderful. Then, sadly, the free-for-all started. Some people just don't listen. But the first part was really, really good.
2. It's still wonderful to hold a darling baby, even if they cry sometimes.
3. A boy reading the 13th Article of Faith in Primary said: We believe in being honest, true, caste, been violent . . .
4. A nice lady told me I look younger every day. The only downside was when she said, "I guess that's the point of growing your hair out."
5. A lovely dinner at mamaj's house, where we played the most spiritual game of "Settlers of Zarahemla," which is a Sunday game because there are vague references to the Book of Mormon. I would have just bought "Settlers of Catan," but it was $40 and I'm too cheap. So when I saw this practically identical one brand new at a yard sale for $3, I jumped on it. Plus, it's a Sunday game. I totally felt the Spirit when I was building the temple and daltonboy, jr. was throwing cards at me and calling me names. That's probably because we were bonding.
12 comments:
Oh yeah, every Fast Sunday our bishop gets up and reads a little statement about how testimony meeting is to be focused on "brief, hearfelt testimony focusing on the Savior or the restoration". Or something like that... Anyways, it's usually not to bad. But yesterday we got treated to the old people going off about how we need to listen to the prophet in order to be spared from disaster and that the prophets have been predicting the last days for a long time and stuff like that. It made me want to scream. Somedays I kind of want a massive earthquake to hit the Wasatch Front just so people will shut up about stuff like that, but I just hope it happens after I manage to move far, far away.
Savvy! Tell, tell!
I hope I haven't already shared this story, because it was a long one. But my first greenie's first Sunday in Italy was a good one. I mean, a really good one.
It was F&T meeting and the elders had brought a few brand new investigators. They all sat on the front row. A member of the branch presidency opened the meeting, bore his testimony, and let the congregation know that the time was now theirs to bear their testimonies.
One of the new investigators marched right up to the pulpit. She grabbed the mike with both hands and said that she was happy to get up and bear her testimony, because her testimony was her life. And because her testimony was her life, she wanted to sing us a song.
When she announced that, I clutched my companion's hand and squeezed. My poor companion hadn't understood a word the woman said, so was completely shocked when the woman started singing.
And I mean singing. She had all the theatrics, too---hands in the hair, belting out the tune, hands in the air, hands grabbing the mike, singing, singing, singing! What a testimony! What a life! She sang about freedom! Freeeeeeeeedom!
My companion leaned over to me. "Why is she singing?" she asked.
"Because this is her testimony and her testimony is her life," I replied simply.
Half the congregation needed to leave the room so that they could laugh outside. The poor branch presidency, stranded behind the pulpit, were each a different shade of purple, trying fruitlessly to stifle their laughter, and instead convulsing behind the singer.
For the rest of my time in that city, when I tried to encourage inactive members to come to church, I'd say, "Oh, come on. At least come out to fast and testimony meeting. The entertainment is free!"
Yeah, F&T meetings in Brasil were a crapshoot as well. In principle, I always wanted to bring investigators to hear their peers' testimonies, but deep inside it scared the living snot out of me. With good reason. Those people can be nuts. Good intentions... but nuts.
I don't remember any really good ones in Japan. Lots of other super weird stuff, but not during F&T meeting. There was this one woman who looked like Miss Piggy, though . . . anyway, we've had people sing in our ward for their testimonies. Nothing on the level of Cicada's friend, though. Slightly uncomfortable.
So my friend went to Argentina, and one day the branch president got up and said "God is good, and Buddha is good too," and then everyone started throwing their wallets at this little Christmas tree they had in the chapel.
So if I went to Argentina and said, "God is good and Cicada is good," would they throw their wallets at me?
You know, it's sad that you can take someone's reverent and sincere form of worship and turn it into an entreprenurial venture.
It's definitely worth a try, though. You'll have to decide between that and giving illegal tours in Italy, I guess.
These stories are great, but Cicada's really takes the cake. Good grief. I'm going to have to read that one to TexDad when he gets home.
We went to my brother-in-law's church in a neighboring city several months ago when they blessed their baby. Since, of course, it was F&T mtg., a lady got up and decided to read some of her poetry, complete with props. As she dramatically read something about years passing like flying feathers, she tossed a feather off the stand, I guess to illustrate. I couldn't look up for the rest of her testimony.
Bwah hah! Same thing happened in my ward. Bishop's daugher and son-in-law decided to bless their baby in our college ward (you know, because we don't know them or care about them or their spawn). Only I knew the guy from an old ward. He was the kind who mixed scripture (badly) into his conversation without any kind of transition. And he almost broke up with his fiance when she cut her hair, because he wasn't sure if he was attracted to her any more. But I guess they worked that out.
Anyway, first words out of his mouth, after saying the child's name, were to do with pornography. I guess at least the kid can never say no one told him it was bad . . .
Shut up! I can't believe this pornography stuff! Oh my goodness, I'm laughing! Wow. I'll let my one-day-husband know that hot little tip to giving baby blessings!
I'm blessing Baby J soon... I will be sure to specifically mention her future struggle with porn. Or should I focus more on the dangers of Dallas Roberts? Decisions....
Make sure you mention that she will meet a worthy young man that will take her to the temple. 'Cause she can't get there on her own. Also you should say something about a full-ride scholarship to Dallas Roberts.
Post a Comment