I've tried not to blog about my neighbor, because he is a person who needs a lot of help and support, and doesn't need others gossiping about him and his family. But this story is just begging to be told. I'm sure if daltonboy had a blog, he could tell other, more interesting (read: infuriating or mind-boggling) stories, but this is mine. I own it, and I'm gonna share it.
So The Neighbor drops by every day, usually stays for about an hour, and talks about mostly crazy stuff. Yesterday afternoon was different, because he only stayed five minutes. I was in a hurry, and possibly seemed dismissive (something I was surprised he picked up on). Also, DB wasn't home yet.
TN: So, I got a job.
DG: That's GREAT!!!!
Really great for us, too, because maybe you won't have time to hang out at our house 24/7 anymore.
Discussed details of job, which are not relevant to this story.
TN: Yeah, I'll be glad to be working again.
DG: Sure, that will be very nice for you and your family.
TN: Yeah, I mean, I can stand a vacation, or taking a couple weeks off, but after a while you start to climb the walls, you know? There's nothing to do.
At this point I'm thinking about the condition of their house, and I'm thinking there is actually a LOT to do, but whatever.
DG: Yeah . . .
TN: It's fine for you, because you have the domestic stuff. But I don't like to wash dishes.
Huh. It is quite possible that nothing ticks me off more than having people treat me like a house servant. I have mentioned this to TN's wife before, that I am offended when he comes over and talks about how I sit around and do nothing all day. I guess this was a step up from that--at least he was assuming I was doing something.
DG: Oh, yeah, I just love to wash dishes.
TN (incredulous): Really?
DG (in most sarcastic voice imaginable): Yeah, I could wash dishes all day long, I love it so much.
TN: Wow. Well, bye.
9 comments:
It's a good thing there are people like you (i.e. women) who like to do the dishes, or else they would never get done.
[non-sarcastic addendum because I fear being misread and viewed as a jerk: Foxy and I split the dishes about 50/50, and when we were both working it was exclusively my job]
At least he wad your neighbor and not a relative. My personal fav is when inlaws are in town and say those kinds of things.
You like to wash dishes?
I don't think you and I can be friends anymore.
Sincerely,
TN...
Top Five Reasons I am the Perfect Wife:
1. I love to wash dishes MORE than DaltonGirl does. So there. Na-na-na-na.
2. I love doing laundry, spending hours getting all stains out, and lovingly folding, ironing and putting clothes away. This is one reason why my perfect children always look clean and perfect.
3. I love sports - I would NEVER suggest switching away from Monday Night Football to see what's going on on the Bachelor.
4. I love to clean and mop. My kitchen floor is so clean that you could eat off of it - but I wouldn't let you because there is absolutley no eating off the floor ever in my house. Even if it's an m&m.
5. I love to bake and cook. Naked.
You can send congratulatory letters to my husband c/o me if you wish.
Oh - and 6. I never mix my navy with my black (that one is true).
MF: No fear of ME taking you for a jerk. I can't speak for my other readers. I don't put those disclaimers on my comments, and then I find I get in big trouble a lot of the time. The best one was on Stupid's Raven Symone post. Whoa.
Jenny: Did you not get the part where he is here EVERY DAY? Your in-laws don't visit every day, I think. I agree that it's different, because you hope that your in-laws are not sexist jerks. Still. Every. Flipping. Day.
Stupid: That was YOU? This reminds me a little of that Relief Society story of the two old ladies who were neighbors and hated each other, and then found out they were really best friends after the one lady died and the other one found all her letters. Oh, the tragedy! Don't let that happen to us, Stupid, I beg you. No more wasted years.
Natgo: I have no response to that--other than to laugh hysterically.
It's a good thing I can learn from women like you and Natgo what a Woman's Role really is.
Because all that stuff about education and self-worth and equal partnership has really been throwing me off!
Baking and cooking naked? Natgo has just given me one more reason to get married.
I can't promise nuthin'...
Well, DaltonGirl and NatGo, I just have to say I'm really, really pleased to have you for friends in real life (as well as here)! You make me laugh! Now, maybe I'd better go wash that sinkful of dishes . . .
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