Conference Call

It may seem like I go to conferences all the time. Actually, I average about nine a year, including church conferences. It's just that some of them come all at the same time.

This one was a very good one, on reading, teaching your kids to become better readers, and promoting reading for people of all ages. Right up my alley, because I love, love, love to read.

Highlights of the day:

1. Free lunch, because I facilitated two of the workshops (which means I introduced the presenters and collected evaluations and held up a big sign with a 5 on it when they had five minutes left). And they even had Yoplait in there. Unfortunately, soda is cheaper than water, so they didn't offer water, and I had to consume a soft drink, which I hate, and am now dehydrated.

2. UVSC president got up and gave a little talk/welcome, and said that he hoped we could all take a few minutes out of our day and get to know some of the students. That kind of confused me. Why would we want to do that? And why would they want us to? I didn't do it. I did say "excuse me" to one guy (presumably a student) that I almost tripped over, though.

3. The First Lady of Utah, even Mrs. Governor John Huntsman, came to speak to us. She is not a good public speaker. I think she gets very nervous. Also her collar was all crooked on one side, but I didn't judge that--just noticed. One thing she said that really got me was, "Having six children, we have seen all different things, because each child is different. I mean, we have a Sterling Scholar, and . . . [hushed tones] our one son . . . [should I tell them?] is . . . [blurts out] totally ADD!" Gasps from the audience. Also she confirmed what she implied the last time I heard her talk, which is that you can accomplish anything you want if you have a ton of money.

4. One of the officials kept addressing the crowd as "conference attendees." I was confused. I am attending the conference. Doesn't that make me an attender? I am attending your conference. Doesn't that make you the attendee? Maybe I'm wrong. My blood sugar was really low at the time. It was right before the Strawberry Yoplait.

5. This children's dance troupe from Salt Lake came and did some interpretive dance for us. It was adorable until the woman in charge started making the people in the audience do it, too. And she wasn't taking no for an answer. So we all had to put down our box lunches and jump up and down in front of our chairs. I love that kind of thing a lot.

6. One of the presenters for a workshop I facilitated was known to me. When I walked in I recognized him as the partner of a good friend of mine from college, with whom I have not kept in touch. I introduced myself, as he did not remember me, and asked about my friend, as well as the child they adopted together. Apparently there was an ugly breakup or something, because he got very nervous and avoided conversation and eye contact with me after that. It was too bad, because he's a nice guy, and he did a really good job with the presentation. It was my favorite one of the day. I didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. It's not like I was going to announce to the room that he's gay or anything.

7. I got a free copy of one of my favorite picture books, "Chicka, Chicka, Boom, Boom!" Highly recommended.

8. Tons of valuable information and advice on reading/teaching children. If you have children of any age and are interested, let me know. I'll pass some along.

9. The presenter at the last workshop I attended was this really cool woman with twenty-one adopted children. That's right, twenty-one. She taught my ex-husband's brother in high school, so I hung around and chatted with her for a while afterward. I asked her how in the world a person has twenty-one children. She told me death will be a relief.

10. The morning keynote speaker was this hilarious old lady from BYU. At one point she called Mary Kay Huntsman "Sister Huntsman," and then clapped her hand over her mouth. Then she said, "Oh well. When you're old, you can say whatever you want." She also said that anyone who hasn't read at least one Harry Potter book is illiterate. I liked her very much.

I liked it all very much. Especially the white chocolate macadamia nut cookies that came in that free lunch.