In no particular order, except for number one, which is my absolute number one.
1. Elder Holland. Amen, brother, to every cotton pickin' thing you said. Thanks for addressing every single issue the RHS has, in a beautiful, understandable way. I oughta write you a letter.
2. Elder Oaks. Fabulous. Also Elder Hales and every other person who spoke on historical matters and The Restitution of All Things. In a way, every time they said that, it reminded me of Frodo saying to Sam, "Here at the end of all things," but they couldn't help that, and I got myself right back on track each time, so it all worked out.
3. President Hinckley. Didn't want to hear some of that stuff at all, which is a good sign it was probably meant for me.
4. Susan W. Tanner. Love her, even though she was a beauty queen. Love her mom, even Barbara Winder, also.
5. Youth choir on Saturday afternoon. So very, very wonderful.
6. The Choir rendition of "Joseph Smith's First Prayer." Beautiful.
7. Clips of new Joseph Smith movie, which I am very excited to see.
8. Holst music, Hymmbook words.
9. Elder Ko. Or maybe it's Elder Won. Or Elder Yong Ko. Elder Won Yong Ko.
10. The RHS's conference artwork, including a page filled with block "S" designs of varying sizes and shapes. These were interspersed with words like: forgivenes (sic), bravery, President Hinckley, offenders, love, chastity, mercy, modesty, Prodicles Son (sic), and Hike a Little Higher.
Bottom Ten (also in no particular order)
1. Commercials for Richard Paul Evans' new book just before each session started.
2. Another Primary General President with a "sweet spirit" voice. No problem with anything she said, but can't they get people who don't have to talk like that?
3. No food allowed in our living room. This meant no Conference Treats.
4. People calling us during the sessions. Don't they know we're busy?
5. Every single time a comment was made that I felt a particular person really, really needed to hear, that person was either a) asleep (despite the fact that we made everyone sit up), b) desperately searching for a particular colored pencil, c) crying, d) asking, "Wait. Who is this again?" or e) in the bathroom.
6. Some people have accents that are a little difficult to understand. My suggestion, which I will probably put in my letter to Elder Holland, is to have them speak in their native tongues with subtitles. It would thrill those listening in foreign languages, and be a heck of a lot easier to get the messages the way they were intended.
7. Accidentally falling asleep in the middle of the Sunday afternoon session.
8. Some Choir close-ups are not flattering.
9. Not getting to hear Elder Bednar.
10. Missing Neal A. Maxwell very much.
11 comments:
#11 bottom ten: The microphone that picks up so well that you hear the clicking of nervous-dry mouths. You know, like sound effects that the foley artists use in movies--the kind where they run a wire whisk through pasta salad and amplify it to #10 so you can almost feel the gore on screen.
That's what that sound does to me.
I know it's nit-picky, but it really, really takes me out of the talks when they do that
Really loved Holland and Oaks, hated the commercials for that book (since two years is such a long, long time to wait) and decided I will never be general president of anything since I can't do that sing songy voice to save my life. I did have a companion who could mock the "Relief Society" voice so well that I won't be surprised to see her up there someday. (Oh and I did sleep through most of the Sunday afternoon session too.)
Did you wonder who was looking at you while you were sleeping, and thinking, "Drat! She really, really needed to hear that!"?
I still can't get over the wonderful feeling of watching Conference in one's home. There's nothing quite like it.
That mouth noise stuff was the main reason the RHS was crying. The entire time.
Made me think, "Hey, you could have gone to your dad's this weekend, but you chose to stay here because you wanted to watch conference. Was that because you were determined to ruin the entire thing for us with your constant sobbing?" It took a lot of patience and ignoring stuff--both the crying and the mouth noises--in order to get anything out of it. I am triumphant. I am, let me remind you, One Who Handles Every Situation with Grace and Good Humor.
In April, the RHS will be watching conference at your house, StupidR. Deal?
And Cicada, I slept through about five seconds (at least that's what it felt like) of Elder Hales, who wasn't telling anyone to shape up (maybe that's why I loved those talks so much), so I didn't think that. But that thought did keep me awake during Pres. Hinckley's talk.
And how many times did I hear "Hi, I'm Steven Kapp Perry, host of S...." before having to change the channel to the other conference one. They need a wider array of commercials. However, they need fewer IS commercials--those new ones were prety lame. I wasn't impressed, sadly.
Elder Holland was the highlight, but so was Elder Damiani's prayer in the priesthood session. He was my area president in Brasil. Accent: so. funny. I love that guy.
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No commercials in California, folks. Come to the Promised Land.
Sniff . . . I'm going to take a page out of RHS's book and start sobbing right here, because I only got to see two sessions and my Internet connection won't let me listen to the rest. So I'm way behind and feel like I missed out.
Really liked Brother McMullin's talk, though! Hated whatever green muppet was trying to jump off Sister Tanner's shirt.
And I'm going straight to the hottest depths of hell because every time they sing another Joseph Smith song I think, "Yeah, because this will prove to people that we don't worship him." How come we don't do Brigham Young or Spencer W. Kimball songs?
You don't have to answer me--I'll go sit back quietly in my fiery corner.
Darnit, DG! Your blog won't allow me to post anonymously! I'll have to 'fess up to the fact, then, that I thought the same thing, Nemesis. Not that we need songs about other prophets, but that we could very easily give people the absolute wrong impression.
I would like to accept your kind offer to invite RHS to my home for the next session, but these are the reasons I am not going to:
1. I haven't been able to figure out what RHS stands for. I have searched a little and find no other references to RHS.
2. Will my wife Limpy get along with RHS? did you know she kills small mammals with her heel? (read my last post.
3. I hate sobbing. It makes me extremely angry. Violent, in fact.
StupidR:
1. RHS = Red-headed Stepchild. Which she is. Red headed. Not my stepchild. My husband's. That's what he calls her.
2. Limpy will adore the RHS. Most people do, as long as I'm not around and she is allowed to talk non-stop about whatever she wants. You can appeal to Nemesis for confirmation if you like. I wouldn't recommend having her around for more than two hours, though.
3. There, I cannot help you. The violence goes away after a while, once you realize that Child Protective Services is going have you put in jail.
So think it over. I won't get my hopes up. It's one of those toogoodtobetrue things. The thought that I could actually watch one conference session without distractions.
I'm am absolutely with you on when the people you think should hear the message are asleep. Last session I wanted my boyfriend to listen to the kindness talk. But he was asleep because we stayed up a bit late. . . oops.
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